A while back I was fuming because I found out that on top of everything else The Narcissist also screwed me out of a significant amount of money through our divorce. I sat on the information for a while and after the anger and frustration of it all subsided I decided that I was just going to walk away from that situation and not do anything about it.
I realized that feeling like I was relying on The Narcissist for something (even something that was rightfully mine) and even the thought of having to continue interacting with him through some period of time while it all got paid back to me… and especially allowing him to feel like he was taking care of in me in some way, shape or form….. was not worth any sum of money.
At the end of the day I will be okay without that money, and I will be damn happier with continuing to have nothing to do with him. So I’ve let it go.
And in the wise words of Queen Bey in her song “Hurt Yourself”
“And keep your money, I’ve got my own
Keep a bigger smile on my face, being alone
Bad motherfucker, God complex
Motivate your ass call me Malcolm X
Yo operator, or innovator
Fuck you hater, you can’t recreate her no
You’ll never recreate her no”
So while The Narcissist succeeded in screwing me out of some money… he’s the real loser in this situation.
He screwed himself out of the best thing that ever happened to him… and I know he will go on pretending that his life is perfect and whatever girl he ends up with next is perfect… but I know the truth, and that’s worth its weight in GOLD. ❤
Divorcing a Narcissist Blog 
Ughh my ex also got away with a lot of money, and it was SO HARD to just let it go, but ultimately I reached the same conclusion you did – not worth it. So instead I just figure that what I purchased with that money was the pleasure of not having to deal with him about it, and the ability to move the fuck onward with my life!
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Buttonytundra, exactly!! I bought my happiness in a way and I am okay with that! ❤
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Oh, and I also ended up stuck with most of his stuff, a lot of which I set fire to in my backyard. So, at the very least, that was satisfying. 😉
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hahaha sounds like fun. The Narcissist kept most of our stuff… I had to hound him just for the few things that were actually mine. He would drop off like one thing at a time and always forget something!
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I’m sure Loser hid money from me. (He needed it to continue to support his WTC.) I can’t prove it but if I could, I would take him to court. I was the one who paid all the dues and it is rightfully mine. That WTC didn’t do anything but trade sex for money.
I have heard about women who took their exes back to court for more alimony…and they won. Not that I would ever want to see Loser again but it would make me smile if he had to let go of one of the most important things to him….his money.
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Laurelwolfelives, I get the feeling! I supported The Narcissist for a long time and I was the breadwinner… so when he got an insurance settlement mid-divorce process and “didn’t think I would want the money” it was rather enraging. But if I think about how much more money I have accumulated without him spending all of my hard earned cash it has probably added up to more than what he would have split with me!
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I know some women don’t want anything. They just want out. The only thing I didn’t want was everything he ever gave me. I really didn’t care what it was. He got it back. I had cards and notes from 1975. I ripped them up and threw them into a box. When I say “everything” I mean EVERYTHING. I even returned silk pajamas, bathrobes and t-shirts. One things for sure. That WTC can’t fit her ass into them. I returned collectibles, antique jewelry and a fabulous clock he gave me for our “anniversary.” I even returned the very first Christmas presents he gave me. I wanted NOTHING that even remotely reminded me of him. I asked for the things I had given to him back….especially the quilts I made. The ones he was using to cover him and that WTC up with, but he refused to give them back to me.
That kind of thing really messes with a narcissist. They cannot conceive of being “nothing” to somebody. Maybe keep that in mind?
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I love your attitude! It’s so hard to let go of things like that. My abusive ex also screwed me out of money. I also found out him and his new wife make fun of the way I look on Facebook and said I look like Caitlyn Jenner. He’s still spreading lies how i have issues, always have, and that I chase my friends away. It’s really amazing how far from reality people like this are.
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Well the crazy thing is that they are spending their awesome relationship talking about you. 🙂 One woman’s trash is another woman’s soon to be trash. haha
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I know! I’m glad my relationship isn’t like that! How miserable that would be! I mean these are people almost in their 30s!
And that’s also very true haha
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Nice. I ran the birthday cards, etc, he gave me through the shredder and then dumped the *identifiable* remains of them, loose, into the one bag of clothes/toiletries I packed up for him after I kicked him out (but before I discovered his ~$2500 theft). No idea how it was received on his end, but I still get a smile out of it, so…success! Hehe.
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My ex is still screwing me out of money using the family court system. You can read all about it on my blog. At one point, I became SO GRATEFUL to be out of that sick situation that I decided I was worth any amount of money I had to pay him to keep my soul. Yes, it is unfair, but who cares. It’s my Freedom Fund. It’s a reminder that I am worth buying my soul back from the devil.
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Yes!! I think the freedom is absolutely priceless! ❤
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