Playing with Snapchat and discovered this fun new filter. It reminded me of all the endless nights I slept alone while the Narcissist stayed up until 4:00 am playing Destiny with all of his online friends. Creating a “clan”, and having over a hundred online friends to talk to and message with was the perfect recipe to fuel the narcissist. The narcissist always joked that Destiny destroys marriages but I never quite understood how that could happen. While my marriage could not have been saved, Destiny did wreak havoc on it. The narcissist stayed up all night long playing, and then slept all day long when I was awake. I spent my days alone reading and watching re-runs because I was never allowed to do anything without the narcissist.
Our marriage could have never been saved, because the narcissist will never face reality and work on himself… frankly the narcissist will never stop blaming me for everything that went wrong. But I find it fascinating that the narcissist explains the last 6 months of our marriage (and more recently, the last 4 years of our marriage) in a completely different light than what actually happened. He talks about me as if he was living with Godzilla, with an angry woman on a rampage who “didn’t appreciate him” ” didn’t take care of him” and even who “tried to keep him hidden from the world” and “dulled his shine.” You would seriously believe that I had horns sprouting out of my head the way that he describes me. He is very good at painting himself as the victim and me as the evil queen. He was so neglected for so long.. and damnit he deserves to be loved!
It’s also no coincidence that the first woman the narcissist ended up sleeping with (while we were still married) was one of his clan members and “best friends” on Destiny! Before the narcissist had his way with her, he also had some fun with another girl from Destiny. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were others as well… these are just the ones I am aware of!
Before he convinced Southern Rose to fly across the country and have sex with him, I discovered a very racy conversation between him and “Christine PS4″in his phone. It was the day after I moved out of our house. I had to go to the house to pick up some things I left behind. We started talking and decided that I would come back over for dinner and to watch a movie together. Naturally we ended up having some crazy sex before we even made dinner. I mean the Narcissist is legit a Vampire with his charming ways. One minute I am fully clothed and rational and the next, I am doing very, very, bad things. Eventually we made dinner, and watched some of the movie and I was sound asleep before the movie even finished.
In the morning when I woke up and he was still sound asleep, my curiosity got the best of me and I checked out his phone. I was rather surprised to see that he stayed up all night having a full on sex-text session with “Christine PS4” and masturbating to all the dirty things she had to say. The funny part was that he literally typed her, word for word, the same things he said to me while we were having sex earlier that evening.
I felt extremely used and infuriated and grabbed my stuff. I wrote him a note and stormed out of the house. He started to wake up as I was leaving and immediately began texting and calling me when I was in the car. He attempted to make me feel so stupid and guilty for making a big deal out of the situation. He kept repeating over and over again that “it was just flirting” “just innocent flirting” and would not admit even a little bit that there was anything rude about having sex with me, and then masturbating next to me while he sent dirty texts to some other girl.
Anyway, I should have learned my lesson with “Christine PS4”. I stayed mad for a few days and eventually we started talking again, decided we could be friends again, and then next thing I know he is parading his next sexual conquest around in front of my face. Any time I got even the slightest bit emotional about anything, the Narcissist spun the situation around to remind me “you abandoned me” “you abandoned our marriage” “now you are just jealous because someone else realizes my value and wants to love me.”
So this post goes out to the Narcissist’s Destiny Clan. Thank you to all of you 100+ something members who fed the ego of the beast, who fed into his charming ways and his ideas of greatness. Thank you to the few girls in the group, who all very rapidly made yourselves available to him sexually – online, on the phone, and even in person. You all actually did me a service because you helped me realize faster than I ever would have on my own that the Narcissist doesn’t need me. He just needs anyone who is willing to make him feel important.
I am sure that he has painted me as an evil beast of a woman. So I figured I would post myself here in my “true form” horns and all. The poor, poor narcissist had to deal with such torture being married to me. Thank goodness he has all of you to make him feel better, fulfill all of his ego needs, and even pleasure him sexually! Who needs a wife or a marriage when you have access to over a hundred people who will fawn over you?!?