Welcome to Divorcing a Narcissist

As the title of this blog would imply, I am in the midst of a divorce from a Narcissist.

I think that somewhere deep down I always knew my soon to be ex-husband was a Narcissist, but I never realized all of the ways that it would play out to make my divorce such entertaining torture. Typically when I tell my close friends and family the things that I am going through they laugh out loud and then abruptly apologize and tell me “I am so sorry you are dealing with this.” Since I am ‘dealing with this’, almost daily, I figured I would get it all off my chest with an audience who is sane and can see the situation for just how crazy it is.

So for all of your reading pleasure, these blog posts will unveil the absolute truth of my divorce from a narcissist. I will likely just refer to him as the narcissist throughout this blog, and modify things so that you can’t uncover his true identity. I also plan to post “happening now” stories while also reflecting on the almost 8 years worth of crazy stories I have piled up in the “narcissist files”.

So stay tuned, things are bound to be entertaining!

12 thoughts on “Welcome to Divorcing a Narcissist

  1. I too also didn’t realize my ex was a real narcissist. In fact, I didn’t realize what a narcissist really was and how it is a personality disorder. I used to think it was just someone that had an ego problem but man did I learn of how bad it really was and how abusive he is and was.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You amaze me! I don’t know how you can be so strong. Maybe I’m just a baby, but after giving my life to someone and loving them for all those years, to find out all that he has done when I’m not with him would kill me.. and to know he didn’t actually love me, but yet I loved him through everything.. I would be a mess, a completely different person. So stay strong girl! You’re amazing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Lovingthroughitall, Don’t get me wrong, this has been the most difficult thing I have ever done and ever experienced. I am human and I have my highs and my lows. I’ve been able to get through it with the support of friends and family, and with knowing that I deserve to be happy and loved! It’s definitely been a journey, but one that will shape the person I am in the future for the better! Thank you for reading and thanks for the kind words!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m the same way. I’ll be writing it about it soon, since I need to vent somehow. I’m a total mess and have been for several months, I cant get it together and my life is falling apart. My kids see what a wreck I’ve been and I cant hide it. I’ve tried and I cant.
      I know he doesn’t love me, he’s even told me many times, he even shows it. He’s told me hes madly in love with someone else and we talk daily, mostly about his feelings and issues with his gf and other times he talks about missing life with me, wanting it all back and how much he still loves me…I know its not true and I know I’m a backup plan, he’s been honest about that but not talking to him is awful and I cant go an hr without wishing to hear him. I’m letting him to this to me. I dont understand why.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lifeisbeautiful, I am so sorry that you are dealing with this right now. I think the first and most important step is that you have to realize that whatever your ex is telling you is his own reality… and not the truth. Your worth does not depend on him. It is going to be hard, it is going to be painful… but I promise you will be so much better off to get away. Think of him like a drug… he makes you feel good for a bit but you are ruining your life in the process. You are going to want to go back to that drug… but you need to be strong for yourself and your kids. It takes work but you can do it – I promise. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m in the middle of the exact same thing. I never realized it until we separated and even now, it’s been so difficult for me because I want to believe him, I want to be in denial, I want the love he use to ‘fake’, I desperately want him back but I know the real him now and I know whenever he tells me he loves me its fake and only based on the devotion of his gf (who he’s divorcing me for).
    He literally will be telling me how much he’s sorry, loves me and wants me back and he sounds so sincere, then she calls him on his cell and he’ll throw me out of the car or wherever we’re at to talk to her…then after they hang up, he’ll tell me hes sorry for everything but he’s changed his mind about us. He does this to me daily. I know it, so why can’t I walk away?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lifeisbeautiful, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have learned that we literally get addicted to these people, which is why it is so difficult to get away… even when we know we are unhappy, hurt, and being used. I have found these online forums to be very helpful. Check out ChumpLady.com there are a ton of great resources there. I have also been reading Psychopath Free which has been a huge help. I hope you find the strength you need to get away from him, and I am here if you need anything at all! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I was married to a narcissist too. It has taken 10 years to work through the financial fallout from the divorce and the PTSD. I am glad you are blogging this. People need to know they are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As a new follower to your blog, I am gripped by your story. There are so many things you write about, that I see glaring similarities in my own marriage (which, is on it’s way to donesville..). I remember, one time, a therapist telling me, “Your wife exhibits childlike narcissism…” and I didn’t like that, because I thought it was my fault. I went to another therapist that said, “I can’t diagnose her without her present, but most people with Borderline Personality Disorder are diagnosed because of the feelings their intimate partner exhibits…” That wasn’t enough for me…I had to find another therapist and another therapist trying to find why I can’t fix the marriage. There had to be something I could do. Then a couple of years ago, after a suicide attempt, I had another therapist tell me, “You are exactly the way you should be…” And that hit me as important.

    Thank you for being brave and sharing your experiences!

    Liked by 1 person

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